It's Thanksgiving this coming Monday here in Canada and I'm trying to imagine planning a festive meal for my husband and our children when I don't feel particularly grateful and happy, nor do I have much of an appetite. On the bright side the menu of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and pumpkin pie for dessert is kind of a given. Cooking, like so much of my days lately, will just be another exercise in going through the motions and putting on a brave face when inside I'm crumbling.
And then it occurs to me that Christmas will be here before we know it and I can't imagine facing Christmas without our George. This time last year I knew I was pregnant again and happily anticipating the hustle and bustle awaiting us in 2009.
My thoughts turned to Christmas cards and wondering if I should send them this year. We always send cards to my husband's family in the UK and to my Grandma and some other relatives. But the thought of not including our baby boy's name makes me feel ill. This isn't how it was supposed to be. This isn't how it was supposed to be.
I was re-reading the chapter on stillbirth and miscarriage in Kimberly Hahn's book, Life-Giving Love and stumbled across a thought that hadn't occurred to my poor mind. She suggests signing cards with the names of surviving family members and adding, "and in memory of our baby..."
So simple. So easy. So nice.
I'm going to add that little mention of our George for sure this year. I can't not mention him.
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A Final Goodbye
12 years ago
14 comments:
I am dreading the holidays without my Jenna too. We had a Christmas wedding three years ago and this used to be my favorite time of year... but now this time of year only brings sad memories. I ordered cards for Christmas and signed Jenna's name on them. I think that is so true - how can we not mention them!? Thank you for sharing this post.
I will be praying for you as you get through this first Christmas and Thanksgiving without your George. Lots of love
XOX
I haven't been able to write cards for almost a year. For anything. I just hate having to STILL write from Sally & Simon. For nine months I'd been writing from Sally, Simon and Baby H. I can't write Hope's name now and I can't write this unborn baby's either, as I feel I'm tempting fate or something silly. I do instead put a tiny ladybug sticker in each card I write now. Most people get the significance, but for those who don't, I just put "For Hope" under it.
xo
I understand your inability to enjoy the festivities. I like the idea of adding "in memory of.." I am sure this will help many angel baby moms write their xmas cards.
Karen - thank you for visiting Nicholas' Touch. I appreciate each and every comment.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Angel, George.
The holidays are especially hard, aren't they?
I always include Nicholas on our cards, notes, etc. I have a little heart stamp and I write an "N" inside of it.
Perfect idea....
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful George. I also was dreading writing Christmas cards without adding Bailey's name to them (he would have been born in August). I want to include Bailey's name on cards too, but didn't know exactly how to do it, so thank you for sharing the suggestion.
Take care xxx
On the cards I have written since losing Mackenzie...which have only been two cards to my best friend...I sign "Mike, Ashley, and Mackenzie (in Heaven)." Of course if that's not your thing religion-wise, I also like the ideas of other mommies. I gave a book for a baby shower and wrote "from Mackenzie" and stamped a ladybug inside. Definitely include George! He's so much a part of your family.
xo
Ashley
I think it is a wonderful idea to include George's name in your cards.
I always feel sad that I don't always write Georgina's name on cards. I only include her when I am writing to somebody who I feel would understand. But I should always include her. She is always part of my family. Just like George is always part of yours.
I'm so sorry he is not here to spend Thanksgiving with you all. xo
I love the ladybug sticker Sally includes and Lea's stamp - so amazing. We can copy your brilliant ideas and still honour our babies always. Hmm. Maybe a little dragon stamp for our George? We named him for the saints of England, Ireland and Scotland (our roots) as he'd have been a triple threat to his big brothers my husband is certain. He had such big hands and feet. I felt so much better reading this suggestion of "in memory." Glad it's been helpful to other people, too. xo
I've been wondering the same thing about the cards. Thank you for posting this! *Hugs*
I too have wondered what to do about Christmas cards this year. We always send out cards with a family photo, but it just doesn't feel right this year. I have though about having our picture taken on a beach with Sophia's & Ellie's names written in the sand. I have also though about letting my Emma draw a family picture that incldes our girls and using that. Regardless of what I decide I will be adding your suggestion to my cards. I love the idea, thank you for sharing it. xx
I have wondered how to include Peyton on our Christmas cards. What a wonderful way to honor our little babies as we celebrate the holidays.
Thank you so, so, much for sharing this.
thanks for all your comments lately. forgive me for being dense.. but when it says BC does that mean you live in British Columbia? I found there is a place called Lake Kathlyn in British Columbia Canada and I would absolutely be in debt to you forever if you lived near there and took pictures of ANYTHING with her name.. the elementary school, a street sign, Lake Kathlyn Park, anything.. there is also Kathlyn Glacier suppossedly. Is any of that near to you?
rutgersbeth@yahoo.com to get me directly
I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering if/how to include our boy's name on the holiday greetings. I'm so glad this has been helpful to you other babylost mums. Beth, yes, I'm in beautiful BC. We live near Hope - I'll check on Google map and see where Kathlyn is. I will get you snaps if I can, absolutely. xo to all - have to go check on our turkey, which is cooking for our Thanksgiving dinner
I really like that suggestion for including a lost little one on a card. Thank you.
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