Children's book about stillbirth and death

A mother I know from the children's Catholic school gave us a beautiful book the other night. She ordered it as a special item from a local bookstore and I've found it on Amazon.

The strange thing is that I've always used books to help my children learn about things and to prepare them for life's changes. But it hadn't occurred to me to look for a book to specifically help explain the stillbirth of their baby brother; I have pamphlets from the hospital that I've referenced but any books on grief I've come across have been about losing older family members. I'm so glad that Jeannie knew of this book and was so generous to gift it to us.

We were going to have a baby but we had an angel instead by Pat Schwiebert is a very touching children's book about grieving the loss of a baby. The text is poetic in its simple and beautiful description of waiting for a baby, enjoying experiencing mum's pregnancy, and then dealing with the baby's death and how everyone in the family feels. The illustrations by Taylor Bills are poignant and engaging. This book gently captures and explains the feelings of the mother, the father, and the little boy as they deal with the loss of this new member of their family. I read it at bedtime to our four children, and we all cried together as we read what we have been experiencing these last few weeks since George died during my labour. It was so comforting to all of us.

What I really appreciated is that the author acknowledges the very deep grief of this family. The text doesn't gloss over the reality of death or try to explain it away with empty platitudes. It makes grief normal and okay. And the ending is very real: The family is together, but sad. They're dealing with their grief. But they're not "getting over" the death of this baby. They're getting through their grief, together, and feeling sad about their loss.

The text of the last two pages lingers in my thoughts: "If this just happened to you, I'm sorry you got an angel instead of a baby. I think having a baby would have been more fun."

The boys and my wee girl had me read it three times that first night we got the book, and would have had me keep reading it, but it was past bedtime. I just know we'll read it many more times this summer. What a gift. Because mourning a loss isn't something you do in a set amount of time. Healing doesn't mean forgetting.