Welcome to day 5 of 25 days of Giveaways, the wonderfully inspired idea of Tina at Living Without Sophie and Ellie. I am happy to participate again this year. I haven't been blogging or reading blogs very much in the last year and I miss it. It was all the bereaved mums online who got me through those terrible early months after our George died and on through that first year. Just once my husband was laid off and I had to get busy with freelance work, well, there isn't much time left. He's been working since last fall but we're still trying to get back on track. Some day!
The first year I participated in this giveaway I was absolutely broken by grief. The last thing I wanted to do was celebrate anything when our lives had been turned upside down. It was nice to reach out to other women who understood and to comfort each other in a season that reminded us of what we'd lost. Now, two years later, not a day goes by that I don't remember our son and long to have him with us but the grief, while still there, is less raw. We all remember him and know there is a place empty where there should be a brother. I'm happy that my older children remember George and speak his name and I am beyond grateful there is a new little person in our midst - the most loved and doted on rainbow baby sister in the world. Nothing compares to the love from siblings who know what it is to lose their sibling.
Leave a comment and I will close the contest at 12 midnight December 5th Pacific Standard Time because I'm a West Coast gal. I'll then use random.org to pick two winners from among the comments. I'm putting this post up a bit early - December 4th here where I am - because I know on the other side of the world it is already December 5th or nearly December 5th. I don't want to leave anyone out!
Often we focus on our sorrow and grief journey. So for something a bit different I thought I'd ask if everyone to share something beautiful that you remember about your baby or pregnancy. I'll go first:
George was our fifth child and fourth son; he was the first child for whom we knew gender. The week before he was died during my labour (full-term stillbirth), we got the video camera out and had the other children talking to him in my belly. Everyone was so excited to meet the baby - they didn't know it would be another boy as we kept that a surprise - and they patted my tummy and told him how much they loved him. It is bittersweet to watch now but it makes me think how loved this little soul was. He was loved and wanted and surrounded by the laughter and hopeful anticipation of his siblings. And then he went gently and surrounded by love. He was big and beautiful and looked just like his brothers and sisters. While I wish he was here with us, that gives me some comfort.
Wishing everyone the peace that surpasses all understanding for this Christmas, Hannukah, and holiday season.
Posts
25 comments:
Awww those are beautiful Karen! I feel like you, haven't been blogging in a while but I do keep up with lots of BLM's on Facebook! It was definitely thanks to my BLM friends that I made it through the darkest days of grief. Glad I found a friend in you! :)
THe clips are beautiful. Your friend is very talented. Thinking of you and sending love to you and your sweet family. xo
I love the idea of remembering a happy moment. For me, the first thing that comes to mind, is finding out we were having twins. It was such a shock and my husband was in disbelief for a few days. I rally felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Really though, I still do, because they are mine and I am their mommy. xo
Thanks for participating again!!
I'm here from Tina's blog. I loved my boys perfect little hands and will never forget how it felt to have their fingers curled around mine.
I haven't been blogging much either and I agree I am so thankful for the BLM's I have found on here and through facebook. The roses are beautiful. One of the things I remember about my pregnancy with Shealyn and at time I forget the feeling but when I think about her I am able feel it again and that is the pure joy and love I felt carry her. I can't really explain it.
Karen, the clips are so pretty.
I had a wonderful pregnancy with Florence, lots of beautiful memories, but just as I was reading your post the one that came to mind first of all,was our holiday in Herefordshire not long before she was born. We had such a wonderful time, and on a trip into Malvern I remember my girls taking a hand each and "helping" me up a very steep hill to a little children's clothing boutique we'd spotted from the car.
We laughed at how huge I was and how they had to help me.
Then we chose perfect little dresses for Florence. they were on sale and even though we didn't know she was a girl, I had such strong feelings she would be.
We had such fun picking out those dresses.
x
So nice to see a post from you, and a giveaway. Throwing my name in the hat.
xo
Without the BLMs I wouldn't have made it through those dark days either, Karen. Or many of the grey days since... <3 so thankyou!
One of the most beautiful things I remember about my little girl is her smile. Jordan could do very few things with the severity of her illness, but one of them was that sometimes, when she realised I was there, she would flash the sweetest little smile and her radiance would wash over me. They were such a blessing and always left me breathless. They were so special and rare, and only a few people ever saw her do it before she passed.
Love you, love George. xx
One of my best memories of my sons, William & Ethan, while I was pregnant is the time I would spend in bed just after I woke up feeling them move. Sometimes I would poke and prod them just to feel those magical movements. It was our time together and I relished it because no one else could feel what I did in those moments.
Everything about my girls pregnancy was beautiful because we had waited so long for them. One of the things that I cling to on dark days is the feeling of holding my baby girls hand in her three days of life. She was so tiny, but she still was able to clutch my finger with her tiny little fingers. It was precious and a memory and feeling I will hold onto forever.
Thank you for giving us a chance to think about the happy memories. With my Angel Baby Janessa I remember her moving and kicking me because she kicked me the most of all my babies. I call them happy kicks because they were usually when someone was talking to me or she when she was hearing music. 2 months before she passed away we went to see the movie The Princess and the Frog and I remember sitting in the theater and happily feeling her kick and move everytime a song came on--it was like she was dancing inside me!
I remember laying down on the ultrasound table and watching the technician fipping around. She got more and more confused. This being my first pregnancy, my husband and I didn't know what we were looking at and then she said, "You are going to have to buy a lot of socks...it's twins!" I remember thinking, "this is the best day of my life. Right now. Stop and really feel this. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me."
Your clips are so pretty!! I remember Carleigh was my most active child in the womb. She moved constantly and I'm so glad that she did. I treasured her movements!
I remember when River was born, we thought he would be a great pianist or quarterback. He had the longest little fingers. Little did we know we would never get to see him use them, thinking of that moment...the pure joy we had in the dreams for him makes me smile.
Thank you for sharing that precious memory. I don't think I have read that before, if you have shared that memory.
Every night, while I was pregnant with Rebekah, we all gathered around my belly and my husband would read a little Bible Devotional to her and the rest of my kids or we would listen to the Bible on cd. It brings me comfort that she heard about the One whose face she would see first...Jesus...
Love you, Karen!!!
I just love my daughter's name and we actually chose it the moment that we found out she was a girl. Her name is Lily Angeline, the Angeline being after my hubby's maternal grandmother. It's bittersweet now because Angeline means "messenger of God". She restored my faith and her death has in many ways, as well...
Sorry to hear that George is not in your arms. Thank you so much for thinking of us. Your friend is very talented. Fellow Canadian here (Ontario).
One of the most beautiful things that I remember about Dylan was how strong his grip was, I loved his hands and holding them for long, long periods of time.
Kat @ In Dylan's Memory
I have a very fond memory of resting on my couch and realizing that the jumping in my stomach was that both of my twins had hiccups at the same exact time. I will never forget that, how magical that felt, how amazing it was. No one can take that away from me, and I will always be a mother to twins.
Thank you for sharing about your sweet George.I'm sorry he's not here with you. My favorite thing about Meredith is that she was a girl. We had no idea (no sonograms then) & I was thrilled that I would have a little girl to dress in pink. Sadly, she never got to dress in pink, except for her funeral blanket & flowers. Thank you for having a giveaway - love the flower clips!
My favorite moments were feeling him move safe inside me <3
I mostly wanted to read everyone else's comments, but LOVE this idea! The happiest thing I remember was actually seeing the "pregnant" on a test with my first pregnancy after 15 months of negatives. That pregnancy brought me into this community, which I wouldn't choose to be in, but wow am I ever grateful for the ladies that are now my friends through this journey!
Thank you so much, Karen, for participating and sharing such a wonderful gift. My favorite memory of my pregnancy was the day I finally felt like she was "real" or the day she moved. It was amazing...totally felt like a mom then. ((hugs))
The roses are beautiful and I'd love to have one. One of my happy memories from my pregnancy with my son Reid is how my daughter would constantly talk about the baby in her belly too.
Post a Comment