Musing on parenting and raising responsible kids with a work ethic

I've been thinking a lot about responsibility and how to teach children certain life truths. I want so badly to raise good men and an equally good daughter.

We live in a city where most families are middle to upper class. Many of the children we know and see want for nothing. Closets full of designer clothes. Toyboxes overflowing. Grade one and kinder kids with their own DS players. Two, three, sometimes four family vacations to Hawaii, Mexico, Disneyland every year.

And the teens. I see teenagers decline to babysit. Teens who do not work, yet have pocket money to burn. I don't mean a meagre allowance earned by doing chores, but a weekly allowance for clothes, fast food, copious treats, and entertainment such as CDs, DVDs, and movie tickets. The kind of things I would have worked to earn for myself over a few weeks as a teen they get handed to them.

It bothers me that these kids have so much material wealth and yet no work ethic. Oh, some think they do. You know, they've worked a few afternoons for a parent and are experts in the workforce.

I do not want my children to grow up like this. I don't want them to necessarily have to work as I did but nor do I want them to just sit back and X-box, then lazily turn and ask for the funds to finance other relaxation pursuits. How does this prepare them for real life????

My father was an officer in the military, so we were solidly middle class. My sister and I took lessons regularly: Skating, dance, horseback riding, music, 4-H, Guides, and so on. We had clothes from Sears catalogue as young children. It was once our father was more preoccupied with divorce that our clothing needs went unnoticed and we were hesitant to ask for financing. We worked instead.

I had my first job in grade eight and I didn't quit after a few days. I worked at it for well over a year - leaving it only when our family was transferred to another city. I cleaned the Officers' Mess every weekend morning for the princely sum of $10. Not $10 an hour, just $10.

By the time I started university I had worked several jobs, including assistant manager in a store and running the concession at the town theatre. I understood that work was hard, how much a dollar really meant, and had a sense of responsibility and accomplishment that I feel also gave me a real maturity I otherwise would not have had. I worked with some great people and some really challenging personalities, which teaches so much. Not only in terms of negotiation, but in realizing when you've got it good.

I saved my money. I saved up to buy things I really wanted, and I learned to decide if I needed something or if I wanted it. I learned deferred gratification. I earned scholarships for school, padded my bank account even after lending a family member $5,000 toward a downpayment on a house, and my father paid my tuition for first year and gave me some money for books. The rest, and the rest for the duration of my university, I earned. No loans. Just me. And I'm so proud of that!

I paid $500 a month for my room in a house first year. Just the room, not board mind you. I had to clean and cook for myself (and buy my own cleaning products, toilet paper, and groceries). There was no one to prepare my lunches or meals and certainly I had to take time away from my studies and leisure pursuits to not only tend to household duties but also pay my own way. Let's just say I didn't have a lot of time for leisure!!

I'm thinking of maybe even starting some sort of work with the children. Maybe a paper route? I'm not sure. Are they too young? They've noticed and commented on how demanding some other kids are. I just don't like this "I always get what I want my way" sense of entitlement that I keep seeing. It's rampant. At least where we live.