A bereaved mother named Ter started a project sending Patches, a tiny little stuffed bear, from one babylost mother to another to patch up our hearts as we share our experiences as grieving mothers. We just hosted Patches the other week and he arrived to us on Canada's West Coast via Winnipeg, Manitoba. It was serendipity that Patches was with us to enjoy the mountains, trees, and sunshine just days after we marked the one year anniversary of our youngest child's stillbirth last May. He heard all about how on that special day we went with our older children to a small airport nestled in the valley and watched small aircraft and helicopters flying in and out while we ate a birthday lunch on an outdoor patio. The little restaurant is known for amazing pie and we sang happy birthday to the sky for George, drowned out at the very end (to the delight of his older siblings) by an RCMP helicopter taking off.
Patches got to see where George's ashes are kept at our house in the dining room cabinet (on top of the memory box from the hospital in the plastic container), and heard how we finally found an urn for our baby's remains. It's bothered me that we couldn't find something we liked but after that al fresco lunch on our son's angel day we went to see the studio of a local potter. We've commissioned a little blue urn that will have memorial information inscribed on natural clay inset into the pot. This artisan is not currently throwing pots but will be again in late July and so the urn should be ready by August. We paid a deposit for a wonderful one-of-a-kind piece that in the end not only supports a wonderful local artist but will cost far less what something from the funeral industry would have. Until August our baby's ashes are still in the plastic container from the crematorium.Patches got to see the many beautiful remembrances we received from family and friends, many of whom are babylost mothers I've never met in real life but who remembered our beautiful boy with us. It was beautiful to feel supported through this sad milestone on our grief journey. Thank you to all who emailed and offered support. Here is Patches with a lovely little verse three of my new friends (we moved to this community a year ago, just after our baby's death), one of whom lost one of her triplets after they were born two years ago:
We were getting ready for Family Fun Night at the children's school so Patches got to help us quickly make cakes for the cake walk. We were looking for something fun but different - an interesting decorative cake that would stand out. I was Googling with my younger two, not really inspired by what we were seeing, and then found the perfect cake. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the one we'd make. It immediately reminded me of the image on the blog of a very special babylost mum who has been a kind and supportive friend to me for many months and who made the time to call me several times around the date of our baby's death:
We had to modify the recipe a bit from the Better Homes and Gardens recipe (most notably using crushed cornflakes instead of cocoa puffs and chocolate icing instead of chocolate kiss eyes). Without too much time or effort we had one cake and four smaller cupcakes ready and were pleased with our handiwork. We brought those cute little monkey cakes to the cake walk and they made everyone smile to see them and it made me smile to think of Nimoli's beautiful boy. Aaajaa Akul.
And before we packaged Patches for his journey south to Jenna Belle's mummy Franchesca and Jenna Belle's new baby brother in the United States, he got to read our special book. We were going to have a baby but we had an angel instead is a lovely book that was gifted to us right after George's death and the children often read. We keep it in the dining room with our baby's memory book, ready for anyone to read at any time:
Safe journey, Patches. You left us just before the rain came back to beautiful British Columbia.
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