But I can't. I'm sitting here while my two little ones play, and I can't.
So instead, like I seem to be all the time lately, I'm trying to push away the dark thoughts and concentrate on the little moments of joy during my day.
This FAMILY ornament that Danielle sent me as a giveaway for blogging about her trying to get a birth certificate for her baby boy, Wyatt. I have it in our sunroom and it fits in with all the natural woods and green tones. We love it. Thank you. It's rainy and cold here so I'm thankful for my lululemon hoodie and underwears (the softest, cosiest leggings - also lululemon - I'm living in them till spring) - but need a bit more warmth so hence the wool socks. Or Nipigon nylons if you please.
I'm happy with this straw bag I got at a thrift sale at our parish. I went late and it was $1 to fill a bag of whatever you like (that's my kind of shopping!). I love this for carting around my knitting and my tea mug. I still have to put it up very high when I'm not using it because our Albert dog likes to steal my wool. I guess he is an Old English Sheepdog....
I'm looking forward to participating in Tina's 12 Days and more giveaway. I'm trying to find a fun pattern to knit up. What to do.... After so much sadness in 2009 I'm thankful to Tina for her inspired idea to spread some cheer.
Remember Nana in Peter Pan? Our Albert dog is always nearby, watching over us, his human flock. I can't help but smile at his goofy face (I'll have to get a photo of how he sits with his rather huge tongue lolling out one side). He's stinky and my kindergarten boy and preschooler are lobbying hard to have Albert take a bath with them this afternoon. They think I'm being mean and impractical holding firm that they may *NOT* bathe with the dog no matter how stinky he may be. That's why he's beside the tub, not in it with them.
I'm wearing this skirt today, which was part of my $1 finds at the church sale. It said dryclean only, but I didn't see why the cotton and lining needed drycleaning. I took a chance and washed it in cold water and it's fine. I love it. And there is Albert's nose in the photo.
Good and bad. Happy and sad. Up and down. That's the day-to-day of a babylost mum I guess.
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17 comments:
I hear you Karen. Not having Calvin's marker laid tore me apart for the longest of times. There are tons of clever, beautiful urns and urn companions these days in case you are torn about having all of George's ashes in one place. I don't know the story, so I suppose I shouldn't assume anything, just a thought. I love your thrify buys too...I am the queen of thrift. LOL....and Albert is a prince. I love big smelly dogs. The smellier the better...Who better than to show you utter adoration than a smelly dog. Bravo on not letting the kids bathe with him, they'd be covered in hair. LOL...Sending you hugs
That is so true that our days are so up and down most of the time. Aww Albert is adorable! We have a full grown yellow lab named Daisy. Id be lost without her! Im still waiting to hear back about Bryston's marker and yes its hard not to have this matter settled yet. I hope you get an urn that pleases you soon, HUGS!
I just came across your blog and wanted to say hello. I too am looking forward to Tina's 21 days of Christmas. I am not crafty though so I will be buying something crafty! : )
Yep, that's how I feel too. Happy and sad at the same time. I'm glad there's some happiness for you.
My cat also likes to steal my knitting!
I also just put everything in the washing machine. If I'm worried about it, I just put it in a delicates bag. I like your skirt!
Finding a place to put our lost babies can be so hard. A couple came to SAND one time, and told us their story. It was one year since they lost their little girl. They decided to finally spread her ashes at the beach, on this one year birthday. They took the ashes on the plane across the country, to the place that was meaningful for them. They stood there at the beach, and realized they couldn't do it. They brought her ashes back home on the plane. It's all just so hard. ((Hugs))
Oh friend. I am sorry you have had such a sad time of picking an urn. It is unfair for any of us to have to do these tasks. I love the skirt. I never have luck like that when I go to church sales.
Albert seems to be a real love bug. Your story about the kids wanting to bathe with him made me smile.
Thank you for sharing these bits of your day with us. Thinking of you, and hoping tomorrow is more up than down.
xxPeace
(((Hugs)))
Oh ew, take a bath with the dog??
Thinking of you friend! I have to tell you that I had Andrew's ashes in a plastic container in my UNDERWEAR DRAWER for two years!!! I just couldn't decide what kind of urn I would want- I didn't want something that looked babyish- but then I didn't want something that looked grown up or cold either- so I waited and found the perfect thing!!! Of course I blogged about it- but there is also a picture of it here http://momentsofpause.blogspot.com/2009/01/perfect-gift.html
Sending huge hugs! Along with you on this journey!
Laura
Karen, I hope your spirits are lifted. Sometimes its all we can do to push them away and force ourselves to focus on the positive and joyful things. Thank you for sharing these pictures with us. I too am so excited about Tina's idea for the 12 days before Christmas giveaway. It definitely will help bring some cheer.
xo
Oh, I am thinking of you today....I am right there with you..up and down, happy and sad, some days it just plain wears me out, but I just take one moment at a time.
You did make me laugh about your doggie and your children. I have had to say no to mine for some of the same things. Of course they won't truly understand until they became parents themselves. Dog hair on wet skin...ewww!
Sending you love....
Love the skirt! I think Tina's idea is wonderful too. I'm looking forward to it.
We have Ella's ashes in an urn. But a few months ago, something fell on top of it and her urn is now all scratched up. I want to get a new one, but just can't face having to go through that process again. Plus, it bothers me to know that her ashes would have to be disturbed. Hang in there!
I remember Sunil and I spent some time getting a container of sorts to put Akul's ashes in. We finally went to pier 1 imports and picked up an aluminium container that looked a little like a stainless steel flask. We wanted the ashes to be safe and were worried that it would be easy for something to happen to a decorative urn. We were given teh ashes in a silk/satin bag. When I first got them, I was unable to put them down. I remember walking into the house with the ashes and thinking "this is not how I was supposed to bring my child home." So many downs and such few ups.
It seemed like we searched for ages for an urn for Levi's ashes. We didn't want something that might break and also went with an aluminum container. We engraved his name on it. Hang in there, Karen~you will find the right container for your George. I'm just so sorry you have to find it at all.
Your story about Albert made me smile! I never thought I'd miss that 'wet dog' smell, but boy, I sure do..
Karen, I'm sat here so very far away and wishing so much that we could share that cup of tea, and I could give you a big hug.
These winter days are hard to get through, I've been working on my giveaway for Tina's idea too, it's being busy with that, that's giving me a focus right now.
You made me smile thinking of your dog as Nana!
Love the skirt.
Albert is SO much like Nana in Peter Pan. I knew he reminded me of someone!
Loving the bargains and looking forward to seeing your crafting for Tina's giveaways. Wish I was the creative type.
Karen, I'm so sorry about George's urn. My little G doesn't have one either. Her ashes are still in the plastic bag they were in when I collected them from the crematorium. I've wrapped them in a blanket and they are inside a NICU memory bag. I just can't bring myself to do anything with them yet. xo
We chose to have our girls buried and sometimes I regret that because i wish I could always have them near me. So glad you are looking forward to the giveaways, I can't wait to see what you come up with!!! xxx
Thank you everyone for the ideas. That's so kind of you. Laura, I'm going to read your blog post ASAP but have to go finish making dinner for the gang. I pop on and off the computer during the day like a yo-yo. Five minutes here, five minutes there. You all help keep me centred. (((Hugs)))
Thanks for this honest sharing of your ups and downs, and for putting into words what I've felt so many times. I totally hear you. And dealing with urns...what a sad and not-fun task to be faced with. (Hugs).
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