Big sister now and forever

We were having breakfast this morning, Father's Day, and we were trying to be quiet because Daddy needs sleep more than anything. He's had very little sleep since baby George passed, focusing instead on me, the children, and all the myriad arrangements that had to be made. He's been a rock. I can't express how grateful I am for this man, my husband of nearly 17 years.

Our wee girl gave one of her brothers her orange slices when he wanted more and she had the only orange slices left to be had in our house. "Say thank you, little sister," I reminded him, hoping he'd acknowledge her generous little spirit.

"Nooooooooo!" she said, looking at me with big, blue eyes full of confusion. "I'm NOT a little sister. I'm a BIG sister."

"No honey," I replied, "You're little sister to Gerard, Daniel, and Morris."

She looked downcast, and thought a minute. Then she looked at me, furrowing her little brow and said crossly, "No. I big sister. You had my baby, right? Baby George came out of your tummy. I'm a BIG sister."

Oh. My heart broke as I realized her thought process. All these months preparing her for the new arrival we've been telling her than when baby is born she will be a big sister to the new baby. Of course we never dreamt that our baby would be stillborn.

I hugged her and reassured her, "Yes, baby George was born. And he died. But he is in heaven. So you are a little sister to your big brothers, but big sister to our little angel George."

And I cried.